We visited my husband’s family in Louisville for Easter, then the kids and I hopped in the car to drive the rest of the way to Chicago for Spring Break. We had a huge lunch before we left and I groaned at the size of the “kid cups” at the restaurant. They were twice the size of the adult glasses and they were filled to the brim. Yay. And I was going to get in the car with two children after they filled themselves with apple juice. I was at the other end of the long table so I tried to just enjoy the meal and not worry about it.
There is a reason I worry about such things. It’s called experience.
Nick was barely staying awake for the meal so I knew he would be asleep in a matter of seconds after leaving. I got them both to go to the bathroom before we left and off we went. We were thirty seconds out of the parking lot and Nick was zonked out. We enjoyed some music and scenery for the first hour and then Maggie said she had to go to the bathroom really, really, badly.
Groan.
I hate waking a sleeping child. Detest it. Especially when we are in the car and he needed and would have slept another hour or two.
We stopped at the next exit and Maggie did the dance with full crotch grabbing while I woke Nick and got his shoes back on. We hurried in and made a bee-line for the restroom. Luckily we were spared a line.
And then we created a line. See, my little darling needed to poop. And there was one bathroom. Let’s just say my children like to take a lot of time each and every time they poop. I could hear the line forming outside the bathroom while she sat and asked questions about the toilet paper holder and the soap dispenser and the rotation of the planets during spring.
When she finally finished, and the line outside the door had partially mutinied to the men’s restroom, Nick and I still had to go. I had put a diaper on Nick in a last second moment of CYA before leaving, so when he started protesting, I said whatever and took care of myself. Let’s just say when you have two small children, one bathroom and no alternative, there WILL be questions as to what a tampon is. That’s all I’m going to say about that. A minute later, we hightailed it out of there, calling apologies back over my shoulder. I didn’t mention the next one in might need a gas mask.
We got back on the road and rambled along. More music, some word games and a short video. A little rain cloud started following us. And by following us, I mean it rained on our car but was clear to the left, clear to the right, clear in the rearview mirror and clear up ahead. It just rained on us. It wasn’t a bad rain though, so whatever. I thought we would outrun it. (Are you sensing the foreshadowing here?)
We were four hours into our five-hour journey and I decided we better stop for gas one last time, as it is so much cheaper in Indiana than in the city. I told the kids they could stretch their legs and I pondered getting drinks since we were on the home stretch. It was raining harder than before when we stopped, so we skipped the drinks and the leg stretching, got the gas and hit the road for the last hour. I threw on a movie to get us the rest of the way without a million “are we there yets?” fulling expecting that they would only get to see the first half.
And eight minutes later, we hit traffic. We spent 45 minutes going three miles. OMG.
I began to second guess skipping the restroom at the last stop. Luckily the potty-training child was in a diaper. And Maggie usually gives me more warning than to say “I just peed” which is Nick’s MO.
And then came the rain.
And thunder.
And lightning.
And more rain.
I couldn’t hear anything it was raining so loud.
Every time traffic seemed to clear and the weather seemed to let up, it would all come crashing down again and we would slow to a crawl. We could have walked, all three of us, faster than we were driving.
We were in the toll road for what seemed like forever and had only paid one toll. Not a good sign. By the time we got to the last toll an hour later, I fully expected them to pay ME for being on their road for so long. I handed over a five spot expecting two dollars back. She gave me one dollar and a coin. At this point I didn’t even care, but I was a little miffed that if they had raised the toll, they should change the signage. I like things to be accurate.
I looked in my hand and lo and behold who was staring back at me?
Millard Fillmore.
It was a Millard Fillmore dollar coin.
I started laughing so hard. The kids thought I had totally lost it. It was just what I needed at that moment. (P.S. When playing trivial pursuit, a good bet is Millard Fillmore.)
We made it the rest of the way unscathed, followed by our little rain cloud. The kids watched the entire movie and still had time for quite a few “How much longers?”
But no one peed their pants and no one threw up, so I’m calling it a success.
And I have a shiny Millard Fillmore dollar coin, so I guess I came out a winner.
