First things first, if you don’t follow me anywhere else, it is likely Nick is NOT having seizures. Whew. (Why are you not following me anywhere else? Hmmm?)
For some time now I have been have some anxiety issues. Then about a year ago when there was some possibility that my husband’s cancer was coming back, I sprinkled in a little PTSD to go with my anxiety. Luckily I had recently just started taking anti-anxiety medicine.
I started on a generic and lost. five. pounds! Yay. That officially put me back at my pre-pregnancy weight (though, obviously if you’ve had children, you know that lots was in different places than before. But the scale was at that old familiar number. Sweet!)
Then a few weeks later I noticed that all the photos I was taking were blurry. I couldn’t get anything to come out sharp. And, that’s a side effect of the meds. Grrr. It wasn’t bothering me any other time, but yo, my photos. I needed my photos.
So I switched to a non-generic, slightly different version. That was just over a year ago.
I have gained 25 pounds in that year.
I was only 10 pounds shy of my about-to-deliver-an-8.5-pound-baby weight, and I felt like crap. I finally put two and two together (and ruled out thyroid issues) and changed back to the generic meds. (Yes, at this point we can all conclude that I am vain enough to choose my weight over my photography. But, autofocus was invented for a reason right? Maybe not this reason exactly, but 25 pounds is a lot of reasons.)
Within 10 days, I lost 6 pounds. Without doing anything differently. (It should be noted here that I also had a toe injury which totally whacked my exercise habits and I have been quite sedentary.) (And yes, I just said toe injury with a straight face. My toenail is about to fall off.)
It’s been a couple of weeks and I’m holding steady. I’m adding in exercise starting tomorrow (Ha. Always tomorrow, no? But seriously, yes.)
Before switching back to the generic, I tried weaning to half a dose hoping to eventually wean off completely because I was feeling much better and not sure I really needed to be on it at all. (Which, er, could just mean that the meds are working.)
And, no. Not ready to be off. I was finding myself annoyed with everyone in my family, people I ran into in the street, the radio for having stupid songs on, and NPR for having annoying voices. Um, yeah, NPR doesn’t have annoying voices. That’s when I realized no one was going to win until I was a little more *cough* happy.
Crazy was not an option.
Neither was fat.
So I’m giving a tiny piece of my vision for the chance to feel like myself again.
